About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize