my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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