he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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