Don't you send me to vm
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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