No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
