My balls are so social today.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
