I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
