just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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