bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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