i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
