She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
