Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Randomize
