They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
