I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Bring me that man meat
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
