Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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