So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
