ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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