He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
