ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
