Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
