Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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