Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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