I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize