yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
