Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
