dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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