it hurts more in the daytime
No stitches, just platelets and will power
high people should be assigned attendants
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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