Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
