its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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