It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
