I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I am available for nakedness
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