and next time when you feel me up, do it right
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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