bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
