So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
