the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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