You really coming over, don't trick.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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