***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Man, jail baloney is awful.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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