That's intense
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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