I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize