I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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