if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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