Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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