Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
