dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
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