the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
