oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I will die if light touches me.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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