My brain says no but my pants say off.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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