Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
