you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I'm really busy with my period
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