what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
