turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
