Do you still have your period?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
True strength comes from lack of pants
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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