I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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