When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
