So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize