I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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