I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
