he thought i was a dude.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
