so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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