1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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