Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
