I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Randomize