I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize