I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
